Been awhile :)

So it's been a few days since I last wrote :) The girls finally got over all their ailments...Autymn had pink eye, I kept her quaranteened in her room for 4 days! I was surprised though at how quick a certain lil home remedy worked though! Day 1 her eyes were SO red and swollen, looked creepy! Day 2, I was told to try "breastmilk drops" in her eyes. I figured..ah, why not! By the end of day 2, her eyes were just pink and puffy. Morning of day 3, just pink on the bottoms of her eyes. By evening, NO pink! By day 4, NO signs of pink eye! So yea, if you happen to be lactating the same time you kids get pink eye..there's the tried n true trick! Sadly, during that time of boobie drops in the eyes...Alexis came down with a 103 fever, then Audrey (who also added puking to that), then Ashleigh..so I was quite busy. The celebration for letting Autymn out of her room, quickly ended the next day, when SHE got sick! I was just glad to get it ALL through everyone's systems! Poor Alexis was quite cranky, she had that virus AND cut her first tooth same day!

This past saturday, I threw my first (and successful at that!) surprise party for Michael! It was a pretty good turn out! I had invited about 30 or so people, and about 20 made it. I was slightly agitated that some people never RSVP'd...WHO doesn't RSVP when all it requires is a simple email back. But anyway. lol I survived :p Michael was totally surprised...we had air horns and all! hehe. Which brings me back to TODAY...his REAL birthday. And, I totally forgot to plan :( I have no dessert to make..no special dinner, and no plans. Poor guy. But..he is a guy. So..shouldn't be TOO hard. hehe

Let's see what else in my crazy hectic life. Finished up school last week (yay!) The girls have their lil graduation June 1, they are siked about that! And since I finished school, I decided it would be a great time to get Audrey out of diapers and into the big girl world of Elmo and Dora underwear! I started this past Monday, and I'm so glad it's going really well! Monday was hopeless it seemed. Tuesday, we made some progress, but only because I was watching her naked butt the entire day and running her to the toilet. Wednesday, she cried with her wet underwear. And today! She has been dry all day! SO happy! It will be reallllly nice to not have to buy 2 large boxes of diapers twice a month!

That's all the news here! Wishing we had big travel plans for Memorial Day weekend...Michael is off sat-mon! oh well...lazy day at the pool I guess ;)

Wasn't it just last week..?

It almost feels like DeJavu with the kids being sick and me not having any sleep! Maybe. This is just real mommy life! So here I be, listening to the quiet whales (vs. the loud ones hehe) of a feverish baby...who is also teething, but not sure if the fever is JUST her teeth or more than that. It doesnt' really matter though. I have a sick, cranky baby, who has refused to sleep hardly a minute today...so you would THINK, she would have hit that crib hard and been fast asleep...yea. not happening. Then I have my toddler, in a playpen..in OUR closet...because. Autymn, who has been confined to the girls bedroom all week..has pink eye. Poor Ashleigh is laying next to me on the living room floor. I guess I should count my blessings though..nobody else has pink eye..so my hard endeavors to keep Autymn secluded..just might be paying off. I do however have this attitude of "I wouldn't be surprised if everyone wakes up with fevers and oozing pink eye in the morning!".

I sure am ready for this phase of life to kinda wrap it up. I WILL miss my lil cuddly babies, but oh to have a solid night of rest! I miss the days when it was just the twins, who at 4 yrs old could do pretty much everything we did..and have fun too! We could just hop in the car and head to the beach at 9pm on a Friday! Play all weekend, sleep in..we ALL enjoyed it! Now..we actually thought about hitting the beach this weekend, but the thought of actually having to DO something, is tiring! You know you are exhausted when going to the BEACH is tiring! We have both talked about how the thought of packing up everything, and toting the 2 lil ones at night, and keeping everyone happy at the beach for more than an hour..just sounds...exhausting!
So this is just our phase! I know next year we will be living it up!!! FUN times!

ANyway..on a more, not so mundane note! I did make the time in my crazy day to play with Ashleigh and Audrey, funny how if you just force yourself to have fun with them..you end up actually having fun! They had this ball with a handle (meant for like 3-5 yr olds to hold on and bounce on) Well...lol lets just say a mommy on one of those things..makes for some pretty hard laughes! That and I scared the daylights out of Audrey by hiding behind the piano and jumping out at her, ...it was HILARIOUS...but...I'm hoping it doesn't come back to bite me when she wakes up from nightmares LOL ...ah, oh well, I'll be up anyway!

Today my mom would have been 60!

So this weekend is a tough one, Today is my Mama's birthday, and it doesn't help that mother's day is just two days away as well! I always have mixed sad feelings on mother's day. I miss not being able to let my mom know "Wow MOM, you were SO patient with me (did I really act like my 6 yr old!?) lol" And all the stuff I said to her as a teen "you don't really love me anyway"...I wish I could come back now...having been a mom, and say "thanks Mama". I know now, just BEING a mama, you couldn't love your child more! So after I get through the emotions of missing my own mother, I try to think positive of BEING a mommy myself. I think of my beautiful daughters. My twins who are 6! Maturing so perfectly. My cute-button nosed toddler who loves to make us laugh! My adorable, always smiling, not so planned hehe, 6 month old...and I smile at how blessed I am...but THEN these pulling, saddening thoughts hit me "I wonder how my mom would have been a grandma to my kids" "would she like my parenting style" "would she think I'm a good mom?" And then I am back to crying all over again! So. Either way I try to look at mother's day...it usually ends back at missing my Mama more than ever!
So to not leave all you readers (yea, all FOUR of you hehe)I will not leave you guys hanging with a cloud of misery over your heads! And not to be blunt. but "so my mom died". Very practical sounding I know. But life really doesn't end there, and why should I make it sound that way! I miss her yea... but so happy that there WILL be a happy ending to this life story :) I have learned so much from my Mom being gone. And I am actually very grateful! I have learned to lean on God. Be confident in my decisions. Hold all relationships closely. Let frustrations subside quicker. And kiss a little longer ;) My mom's life was relatively short. In fact, if I die when she did, I only have 22 yrs left. A good bit less than the life I have already lived! If I get sick when she got sick, I have less than 20 yrs! If I start feeling "not myself" when she did, I have about 15 yrs left. It really puts things in perspective doesn't it!? So live life! :) So I guess, although this time of year is saddening. At the same time..it's a reflective time, and almost motivating to me...to stay focused on what REALLY matters in life. My relationship with God. My love for my family and friends! And my outlook on life!
So with that said, I cherish my family and friends dearly! You never know how much longer you have with them. And I will pray tonight..like I pray every year "God, if it's possible, would you please tell Mama Happy Birthday and Happy Mother's Day for me, and that I love her so very much!! Amen"

Just Another Manic Monday~

So this weekend was NICE! Complete and utter laziness :) Baby slept great for me, got to sleep in with my man, grazed all day on leftovers and fattening what nots. Sunday, the two little ones were enjoying their new cold for the month (ug!) so we couldn't take them to church. It's so frustrating when you make it to church as a family maybe once a month (if that!). And although I have had many people at our church assure me "it's just a phase", I can't help but feel like I'm a back-slidden baptist who isn't doing my job keeping the pew seat warm HAHA It IS just a phase, I wish I could do more...like I did as a teen/single adult! You know, there for every service, teaching 2 classes, ministering to other people who were down in the dumps!Oh well, I'll just keep remembering Is. 40:11 "He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young." God is a Father. A daddy :) I know when my kids are tired and exhausted, Michael never expects the girls to do "what they were doing when full of energy". He is more than happy to pick them up and carry them. And I AM most certainly the sheep "with young" lol So I will stay encouraged that He is gently leading me through this sometimes, VERY chaotic life!
So...back to life :) Got two kiddos whiney because they don't feel well :( and 2 kiddos that are whiney...because they have absolutely nothing to do. It's a whiney type day though, sooo overcast and rainy! I got my house mostly picked up (many thanks to my hotstuff husband for picking most of it up yesterday!), so I'm thinking about turning on some old movie on tv and might as well stay in my pjs the rest of the day right? hehe Got some spaghetti plans for dinner (easy! yay!) and lookin' forward to my guy getting home in a couple hours. Life reallly is good :) I may bicker about whiney kids, not enough money, etc! but it's all good! It's life. :)

Thankyou!!

SO! Alexis slept from 8pm to 4am! And even though she cried from 4am to 6am, and the other kids got up at 7am, I felt like a new woman today! lol Crazy what 6 hrs of straight sleep will do for you! Bad news though is...after nursing her like every 3 hours for the last week, my boobies were more than ready to do their job at..11pm, so I woke up to nice engorgement..along with either a plugged duct, or mastitis. You know, I use to milk goats as a kid, and I must say, the comparison, is...quite disturbing to say the least. Such is life I guess lol Seriously, what other time in a woman's life, do they talk about their boobs SO much!? Imagine teen girls getting together "oh my goodness, I woke up this morning and they were like OUT TO HERE!" or maybe 40 yr old women taking a coffee break "Mildred,do you ever get pains in your left nipple?" Seriously, us nursing mothers describe SO much about our private breasts...but the thought of getting a breast exam freaks us out! haha
ANYway, enough about THAT lol Today is Friday. yay yay! My husband is off work for this weekend, so we usually try and plan something fun to do. We thought about hitting the beach (4-5 hrs away), but we started arguing about what beach to go to, and what each of us wanted to do while there, all the while the 2 little kids started to whine and fuss....I was glad it hit me that instead of making ourselves drive 4-5 hours straight, with whiney kiddos, to get to a beach, where one of us, won't be happy...lol it MIGHT just be a good idea to stay home and catch up on some SLEEP!
So here we are, Friday night, Hubby is playing Halo 3 with his online buddies, and I'm blogging it up with a pump attatched to my poor, sore boobies, in hopes to cure whatever it is that's bugging them!

wow. what has my poor little life come to!? "Friday night and the moon is high, gonna head on over......and start my pump!" (a start of a country song, to those who don't know. yes. all of you. lol)

"Someone come and pick me up!"

That sums up my life right now...just go ahead and take me to the loony bin! I suppose when I started this breastfeeding adventure I thought it would be a little tough. Yea. tough alright! I didn't realize how overpowering this need to breastfeed and only breastfeed would be! I guess because I tried SO hard with not one, not two, but THREE of my kids and I "failed" that I'm determined to succeed with baby #4! So, I read just about every book out there about boobs, latches and more. I never thought I would spend hours reading up on how a woman's breast works. I managed to make it though! (pat on my back! lol) I spent the first two weeks of my baby's life, propped up on the couch nursing her when she wanted to...which just so happened to be...every hour. But that is long past, and I'd rather not re-live the moments of cracked nipples, engorgement, and sleepless days and nights! I want to focus on today, the moments of cracked nipples, engorgement, and sleepless days and nights. Yes. Six months later, here I am..again! (note for all you that have dreams of b'feeding, I had about 4 good months hehe). But now the joyous little first "toothes" are coming in, and I'm about to go nuts! I have managed to get about 3 hours average of sleep a night this week. Nothing is working, although, searching online, there is one remedy I have yet to try, and that is putting cayenne pepper on her gums...which...sounds like that would just enhance my poor screaming baby's screams.
So life as of this moment, is enduring getting my nipples pulled and chomped on, while a little baby experiences pain for the first time in her life. We both would like to end this phase of life as soon as possible. Because. Nobody is happy right now!

Life as a "SAHM"

What really goes on?

So, I probably picked the worst time in my life to start a blog...like I have oodles of free time to be compiling my life in words, for, probably nobody to see! But that is fine. I'm doing this for myself. It's how I maintain my sanity! I'm sure you have seen it in movies, jailbirds in solitary confinement...and only the old and wise ones, who had not lost their minds, were the ones that either talked to themselves, or had achieved privileges of some charred up stone of which to write a journal on his cell walls. Yes. That my friends (yes. all of you who are not reading this lol) is why I am writing this. And yes, I do compare myself to a jailbird..in solitary confinement at times. It's the reality of being a stay at home mom, or..as we label ourselves "SAHM". Oh what those 4 letters MEAN!